la rabia

La rabia en los niños ¿cómo gestionarla?

la rabiaAntes de que nuestros hijos verbalicen sus primeras palabras, comienzan con el balbuceo, e incorporan en su limitado vocabulario palabras que absorben de sus figuras parentales, mientras tanto, el niño puede verse “frustrado” por su falta de expresión verbal, llegando a manifestaciones de emociones que en ocasiones los padres no logran entender.

Esta falta de recursos para expresarse hace que algunos niños en vez de reflejar sus necesidades, peguen a sus compañeros para conseguir lo que desean, perpetuando dicho comportamiento y derivando en un manejo deficitario de las relaciones sociales.

El pequeño no posee la capacidad empática para ponerse en “la piel del otro”, está precisamente atravesando su etapa más egocentrista, donde su persona prevalece sobre los demás, sumado a comportamientos impulsivos de “quererlo todo”. El niño pequeño no tiene la capacidad de abstracción y tampoco prevé consecuencias de su comportamiento.

Cuando se dan estas circunstancias, son los padres quienes pueden facilitar a sus hijos estrategias de regulación emocional, ya sea a través de su propio ejemplo, demorando  respuestas de satisfacción para con sus hijos,  devolviéndoles el significado de la paciencia y disminuyendo su pulsión a “desear de forma desordenada”. De alguna manera y aunque suene duro, debemos aprender  a frustrar a nuestros hijos desde muy pequeñitos. Aquí las emociones de rabia, frustración y tristeza aparecerán de forma manifiesta, y deberá ser reflejado por los padres como emociones necesariamente “tolerables” insistiendo en que se puede convivir con ellas, hasta terminar minimizándolas con una buena gestión emocional.

Forma parte de la naturaleza del niño expresar una amplia gama de emociones y estados de ser. Bien es cierto, que si esas cualidades están bloqueadas en los padres, si se sienten nerviosos e incómodos cada vez que surgen en el niño,  le inyectarán grandes dosis de  ansiedad que terminarán bloqueándoles a estos mismos su manifestación o por el contrario, maximizando su efecto.

En situaciones en las que el niño de forma sistemática pega, el adulto, debe gestionar la agresividad infantil sin agresividad ni ansiedad propia, podría facilitar herramientas de manejo emocional, tales como la detección de la rabia, con el distanciamiento del problema, negociaciones donde comprenda el significado de que pueden ganar los dos,  en vez de permitir utilizar la agresividad para conseguir sus deseos, desarrollar la capacidad de empatía, haciéndole explorar sobre los sentimientos que tendría si le hubiera pasado a él. También es interesante reforzar conductas en las que el niño ha manejado su ira de forma saludable, de manera que vaya integrando en sus patrones de comportamientos dichas estrategias.

Por ello es de vital importancia, que ayuden a sus hijos a tomar conciencia de sus emociones y a poder gestionarlas de forma saludable, para que en sus procesos madurativos se forjen una autoestima sólida, capaz de ser autónomos y seguros de sí.

Mas Info: http://cye-coaching.com/inteligencia-emocional/inteligencia-emocional-ninos/

Formadora y coach emocional

Verónica Martínez

 

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